More about me

There are seemingly few places in North American culture where grief is welcomed, where the dead can be named aloud and spoken about, where complex relationships with the deceased can be shared, explored, and welcomed by an empathic and compassionate heart. Although I may never truly know the unique relationship you had with the person in your life who has died, I long to remember them with you. To hear about how their death has impacted you and your family. To come alongside you, your child, and your family as you navigate a life marked by a "before" and "after".

My own experience with the sudden and violent death of my younger brother in 2019 became the catalyst for my desire to work with bereaved youth and families. As a grieving person, too, I understand its inherent complexity - the ways the body and mind respond to trauma, overwhelming emotions, possible longings and unfulfilled dreams, and the pain of navigating a new and unexpected reality. This is a life-long journey you, your child, and family are on as each of you and the grief evolve; there is no timeline by which it should be "done" or "gotten over" or "healed," despite what other people or professionals might say, diagnose, or medicate.

Learning how to be with the complex emotions, thoughts, and physiological sensations that surface as a result of the person's death can be overwhelming and scary. For many children (adults, too), traumatic loss can result in feeling unsafe in the world. In addition to sessions to support you as the caregiver/parent, I primarily utilize play therapy in the individual sessions with children/adolescents. This includes particular toys, art, music, movement, games, sensory experiences, books, and more. With older children, sessions may include a blend of talk therapy and play therapy. 

Through play therapy, children are able to process and explore emotions and experiences through projection and in ways that align with their development. Direct questions and verbalization, especially about overwhelming or even traumatic experiences, can be developmentally unrealistic, unhelpful, and intimidating. Externalization and symbolism through play can create distance to make things feel more approachable. As author and child therapist Garry Landreth says, "Toys are children's words and play is their language." 

I utilize two particular play therapy approaches with children: 

1) Through the evidence-based Child Centered Play Therapy approach, I allow the child to lead and guide our play times, granting them control and power, on their own timeline, to feel safe to process what is most salient to them as a result of the death. I name emotions that arise through the play as an indirect way of communicating that these emotions are safe to move toward, expanding the child's capacity to tolerate feelings that they may perceive as "negative" or unbearable. They can then learn to communicate these emotions, too.

Beyond what I do in session, this is a way of being, an attitude toward the child and a belief in their inherent capacity to grow and self-actualize at their own pace. Numerous research studies show that the therapeutic relationship, more than the use of any particular approach, is what contributes most to positive change. Physical, psychological, and emotional safety within our relationship is essential.

2) I also integrate the tenets of Synergetic Play Therapy. Through these principles, children learn to attune to the physiological arousal in their nervous system, connect these sensations to emotions, and attune to what is occurring for them as we play. I model strategies for co-regulation, not to move out of the feelings, but in order to build capacity to be with the feelings and find ways to move through them together. My own authenticity with the child contributes to how I am present in my body in the play and in our relational connection.

I view myself as a person who can support your child/adolescent in tuning into and integrating what they are experiencing, and over time, they will slowly develop the "emotional muscle" to be with what is present (credit for this term goes to Dr. Joanne Cacciatore). 

Bereavement author Megan Devine states, "Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried." 

It would be my honor to carry this grief with you.